Dr. Andrea Luise
The Personality Of Pain
I see You
Just after Thanksgiving break, my next door neighbor said something that cracked my guarded heart wide open… I had been in a dark place after spending Thanksgiving alone and being away from my daughter while she was at her Dad’s. It was a long separation and she had been upset about being away from me for so long. That part of being a single mom never gets easier… there’s no way for me to comfort her or take away her pain. My heart and spirit were feeling numb.
My girl had finally come home after 12 long days and I picked her up from school. I felt my heart come back to life as soon as I saw my girl smile! It was gorgeous out which completely matched our moods. We went straight home to pick up our bikes and go to a new trail that we hadn’t ridden before.
As I was struggling to get the bikes up on my bike rack, my next door neighbor pulled in her drive. She is lovely, though I don’t know her very well. We just moved in A few months before and she and her husband have always been so welcoming and friendly. She has this free-spirit /Rasta vibe that’s easy to like.
She popped out of her car and started walking toward her home, seeming overwhelmed or tired… not her usual joyful self. We exchanged hi- how are ya’s and she let on that it wasn’t the best day, but what are ya gonna do? But, then she said something that stopped me in my tracks. She said, “I see you momma. I was a single mom for 10 years & I see you. I see you.”
Eliza was there listening and saw my eyes fill with tears, just as they are again right now. I thanked her, my voice choked up. In one look, across our front lawns, there was so much love and understanding exchanged.
It was a message I SO needed to hear, but didn’t know I needed to hear. I had felt so invisible as I moved through the holidays. Invisible being away from Eliza. Invisible in the crowd as I ran the Turkey Trot Thanksgiving morning. Invisible as I isolated at home instead of joining sweet friends who had extended invitations for Thanksgiving dinner. Feeling invisible with nobody special to spend the holiday with. Feeling like I didn’t matter.
Saying she saw me removed that cloak of invisibility I had been wearing. It broke my heart wide open and released the emotions that I had been stuffing. I feel that sometimes God uses people to deliver the messages we most need to hear, and I truly believe that’s what happened that day.
Not only did she lift the depression that had been creeping over me, she reminded me that one small act of kindness can touch someone’s heart. We’re all capable of doing that for each other… when you have those thoughts of admiring something about someone, say it! It might be exactly what their hearts and spirits need to hear. Let them know, you see them. 💗
Dr. Andrea Luise 